New Husband

In a small town in the old country the Rabbi died. His widow, the Rebbetzin, was so disconsolate that the people of the town decided that she ought to get married again. His widow, the Rebbetzin, was so disconsolate that the people of the town decided that she ought to get married again. But the town was so small that the only eligible bachelor was the town butcher. But the town was so small that the only eligible bachelor was the town butcher. The poor Rebbetzin was somewhat dismayed because she had been wed to a scholar, and the butcher had no great formal education. The poor Rebbetzin was somewhat dismayed because she had been wed to a scholar, and the butcher had no great formal education. However, she agreed and they were married. However, she agreed and they were married.

After the marriage Friday came. After the marriage came Friday. They went to the Mikva. They went to the mikveh. Then home to prepare to light the candles. Then home to prepare to light the candles.

The butcher leaned over to her and said, “My mother told me that after the Mikva and before lighting he candles, it’sa mitzvah to have sex.” The butcher lean over to her and said, "My mother told me that after the mikveh and before lighting candles I have, it'sa mitzvah to have sex."

So they did. So they did. She lit the candles. She lit the candles. He leaned over again and said, “My father told me that after lighting the candles it’s good to have sex.” I read over again and said, "My father told me that after lighting the candles it's good to have sex."

So they did. So they did. They went to bed after prayers to get ready for Shabbos. They went to bed after prayers to get ready for Shabbir. When they awoke he said to her, “My grandmother said that before you go to the synagogue it’sa mitzvah to have sex.” So they did. When they awoke to her he said, "My grandmother said that before you go to the Synagogue it'sa mitzvah to have sex." So they did. After praying all day, they came home to rest, and again he whispers in her ear, “My grandfather says after praying it’sa mitzvah to have sex.” After praying all day, they came home to rest, and again he whispers in her ear, "My grandfather says after praying it'sa mitzvah to have sex."

So they did. So they did. On Sunday she goes out to shop for food and meets a friend who asks, “So how is the new husband?” On Sunday she goes out to shop for food and meets a friend who asks, "So how is the new husband?"

She replies, “Well, he is no scholar, but he comes from a wonderful family.” She replies, "Well, he is no scholar, but he comes from a wonderful family."

Lady on vacation in the Caribbean

A lady goes on vacation to the Caribbean alone Wishing her husband had been able to join her.

Upon arriving, she meets a black man, and after a night of passionate lovemaking she asks him, “What is your name?” Upon arriving, she meets a black man, and after a night of passionate lovemaking she asks him, "What is your name?"

“I can’t tell you!” the black man says. "I can not tell you!" The black man says.

Every night they meet and every night she asks him again what his name is and he always responds the same, he cannot tell her. Every night they meet and every night she asks him again what his name is and he always responds the same, I can not tell her. On her last night there she asks again, “Can you please tell me your name?” On her last night there she asks again, "Can you please tell me your name?"

“I can’t because you will make fun of me!” the black man says. "I can not because you will make fun of me!" The black man says.

“There is no reason for me to laugh at you,” the lady says. "There is no reason for me to laugh at you," the lady says.

“Fine, my name is Snow” the black man replies. "Fine, my name is Snow" the black man replies.

And the lady bursts into laughter, and the black man gets mad and says, “I knew you would make fun of it.” And the lady bursts into laughter, and the black man gets mad and says, "I knew you would make fun of it."

The lady replied, “It’s my husband that won’t believe me when I tell him that I had 10 inches of Snow every day in the Caribbean!” The lady replied, "It's my husband that will not believe me when I tell him that I had 10 inches of Snow every day in the Caribbean!"

Multiple Twins

A census taker in a rural area went up to a farmhouse and knocked. When a woman came to the door, he asked her how many children she had and their ages. When a woman came to the door, he asked her how many children she had and their ages.

She said, “Lets’ see now, there’s the twins, Sally and Billy, they’re eighteen. She said, "Lets' see now, there's the twins, Sally and Billy, they're eighteen. And the twins, Seth & Beth, they’re sixteen. And the twins, Seth & Beth, they're sixteen. And the twins, Penny and Jenny, they’re fourteen… ” And the twins, Penny and Jenny, they're fourteen ... "

“Hold on!” said the census taker, “Did you get twins EVERY time?” "Hold on!" Said the census taker, "Did you get twins EVERY time?"

The woman answered, “Heck no, there were hundreds of times we didn’t get nothing.” The woman answered, "Heck no, there were hundreds of times we did not get nothing."

God rewarding Joe and Bob

Joe and Bob were two very different people and had lived in the same valley for several years. Despite their differences, their relationship was one of amiable cooperation. Despite their differences, their relationship was one of amiable cooperation. One day, to reward them for their spirit of coexistence, God decided to pay a visit and reward them for their spirit of brotherly love. One day, to reward them for their spirit of coexistence, God decided to pay a visit and reward them for their spirit of brotherly love.

God gathered the two men together and spoke to Joe, “I am very pleased with the cooperative spirit the both of you have demonstrated. God gathered the two men together and spoke to Joe, "I am very pleased with the cooperative spirit the both of you have demonstrated. Bob because being black in this day and age has proved to be a trying experience, I will reward you with exactly double everything I reward Joe. Bob because being black in this day and age has proved to be a trying experience, I will reward you with exactly everything I double reward Joe. I am now happy to grant you your 5 fondest wishes.” I am now happy to grant you your fondest wishes 5.

Joe, after thinking it over, wished he had a 50 room mansion erected on top of the mountain. Joe, after thinking it over, he had wished to erect 50 room mansion on top of the mountain. Sure enough, on top of the eastern mountain, appeared a 50 room mansion. Sure enough, on top of the eastern mountain, a 50 room mansion appeared. At the same time, for Bob, a 100 room mansion exactly twice the size of Joe’s mansion appeared on top of the western mountain. At the same time, for Bob, a 100 room mansion exactly twice the size of Joe's mansion appeared on top of the western mountain.

Joe was very happy and Bob was absolutely elated. Joe was very happy and Bob was absolutely elata. Bob informed Joe that they needed food and transportation. Joe Bob informed that they needed food and transportation. Joe agreed and, for his 2nd and 3rd wishes, requested God to fill the pantries with delicious wares and provide him with 10 different cars. Joe agreed and, for his 2nd and 3rd wishes, requested God to fill the pantries with delicious wares and provide him with 10 different cars.

Agreeably, God filled the pantries of both mansions. Agreeably, God filled the pantries of both mansions. In the garage of Joe’s mansion there appeared 10 different cars. In the garage of Joe's mansion there appeared 10 different cars. In the garage of Bob’s mansion appeared 20 different cars. In the garage of Bob's mansion appeared 20 different cars.

Next, Bob prompted Joe about the 4th wish, “Women… we need women!” Next, Joe Bob prompted about The 4th Wish, "Women ... we need women!"

Joe, agreeing, asked God to furnish his 4th wish as 50 of the world’s sexiest, most beautiful women. Joe, agreeing, asked God to furnish his wish 4th as 50 of the world's sexiest, most beautiful women. Instantly, standing in front of the Joe’s mansion were 50 of the sexiest, most beautiful women in the world. Instantly, standing in front of the Joe's mansion were 50 of the sexiest, most beautiful women in the world. At the same time, standing in front of Bob’s mansion were 100 women, each twice as sexy and attractive as those given to Joe. At the same time, standing in front of Bob's mansion were 100 women, each twice as sexy and attractive as those given to Joe.

Both men were very happy and Bob danced around and exclaimed, “Go, Man! Both men were very happy and Bob DANCED around and exclaimed, "Go, Man! Make more wishes! Make more wishes! Make more wishes! Make more wishes! Oh, Lordy…this is our lucky day!…Every time you make a wish, I get twice as much…Wish, Man, Wish!” Oh, Lordy ... this is our lucky day! ... Every time you make a wish, I get twice as much ... Wish, Man, Wish! "

Thinking the situation over, Joe turned to God and said, “Okay, for my 5th and final wish, I want you to remove ONE of my testicles!” Thinking over the situation, Joe turned to God and said, "Okay, for my 5th and final wish, I want you to remove one of my testicles!"

Husband running out naked

A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies, Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside.

The woman, sort of bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man 'Holy Shit! The woman, sort of Bewildered, jumped up from the bed and the man at yelle 'Holy Shit! That must be my husband!' That must be my husband! "

So the guy quickly jumped out of the bed, scared and naked he jumped out the window like a crazy man. So the guy quickly jumped out of the bed, scared and naked he jumped out the window like a crazy man. He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush, then started to run as fast as he could to his car. He Smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush, then started to run as fast as he could to his car.

A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and screamed at the woman 'I AM your husband, you slut!' A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and screamer at the woman 'I am your husband, you slut! "

The woman yelled back, "Yeah??? Then why were you running.... you Son of a Bitch !!" The woman yelle back, "Yeah? Then why were you running .... you Son of a Bitch!"

And that folks.... And that folks .... that is how the fight started. that is how the fight started.