Showtime

Que: Wat's the diff between pulling a curtain and a panty?

ANS: When U pull a curtain, it means tat the show is over. But pulling down a panty means IT'S SHOWTIME!

Whats the dumbest part on a mans body

Q. What is the dumbest part on a man's body?

A. The penis. It has a head with no brain, it hangs out with two nuts and it lives around the corner from an asshole!

Chicken and horse at a meadow

A chicken and a horse were playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him to safety. The chicken runs to the farmer but the farmer cannot be found. So she drives the farmer's BMW back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper. She then throws the other end of the rope to her friend, the horse, and drives the car forward saving him from sinking.

A few days later the chicken and the horse were playing in the meadow again and the chicken fell into the mud hole. The chicken yelled to the horse to go and get some help from the farmer. The horse said, 'No, I think I can stand over the hole'. So he stretched his legs over the width of the hole and said, 'grab for my 'thingy' and pull yourself up'. So the chicken grabbed hold of the horse's "thingy" and pulled herself to safety.

The moral of the story:
If you're hung like a horse, you don't need a BMW to pick up chicks!

Guy getting castrated

A man went to his doctor and said, "I want to be castrated."
"What?" said the doctor, "surely you don't want that."
"Yes," said the man, "that's what I want; I insist."

So, the doctor told him to check into the hospital. When he did he was stripped, laid on a cart, wheeled into the operating room, anaesthetized, and CHWOP! off they came. The next day, he woke up in a double room and, wanting to be socialable, asked the man in the next bed what he was in for.

"Oh, I was circumsized," the man said.
"Son of a bitch! That's the word I was looking for!"

Chicken and horse at a meadow

A chicken and a horse were playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him to safety. The chicken runs to the farmer but the farmer cannot be found. So she drives the farmer's BMW back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper. She then throws the other end of the rope to her friend, the horse, and drives the car forward saving him from sinking.

A few days later the chicken and the horse were playing in the meadow again and the chicken fell into the mud hole. The chicken yelled to the horse to go and get some help from the farmer. The horse said, 'No, I think I can stand over the hole'. So he stretched his legs over the width of the hole and said, 'grab for my 'thingy' and pull yourself up'. So the chicken grabbed hold of the horse's "thingy" and pulled herself to safety.

The moral of the story:
If you're hung like a horse, you don't need a BMW to pick up chicks!